Couples Counseling

A Practical, Systemic Approach

Whether you’ve been together 4 months or 40+ years, did you know that you can relate to one another better, resolve conflict more effectively, and rediscover the spark in your relationship just by learning some simple, actionable steps?  That’s right.  While every couple is different, consistent research over the last 5 decades has determined what works and what doesn’t, so couples no longer need to fumble their way in the dark.

PRACTICAL: Some therapies spend time and effort primarily on past experiences. While I appreciate the importance of understanding how your relationship evolved to its current state, sometimes focusing primarily on the past, can keep couples stuck instead of helping you move forward. When you work with me, our primary focus will be on what you are experiencing now, and how you would like your future to be different. This type of therapy is referred to as “solution-focused”, or “brief therapy”.

Relationships are complicated, and we all have our own unique challenges, but luckily, there’s plenty of reliable research that shows what works well, and what doesn’t. There are practical approaches to explore how your relationship can be more fulfilling, energized, and intimate, regardless of what those things means to you.

SYSTEMIC: Couples exist within a broader social context that blends different growing-up experiences, different values, and often different cultures, ethnicities, and beliefs about what a marriage or committed relationship means. Together, we’ll work with you within these contexts to help you find the right path for your relationship.

Some therapy disciplines are trained primar

I have experience and feel comfortable counseling cis-gendered heterosexual couples, LGBTQ couples, poly-amorous couples and clusters, new relationships, and couples who’ve been together forever.  I also routinely help couples who don’t have “problems” per se, but just want to enhance the bond they already have. 

Couples Therapeutic Modalities

Most people don’t know one therapy approach from another, but not all couples therapy is created equal, so being an informed consumer is one way to ensure that you have the best couples experience and receive the most benefit from your investment of time, emotions and money.

Regarding my approach, every couple is unique, so I rely on many different tools that I’ve gathered over the years.  But you can count on an effective, systemic approach focused on changing habitual patterns of interacting with one another, rather than blame and finger pointing.  I’m a Solution Focused therapist, so to the extent possible, we’ll focus primarily on what is happening now, and how to get you and your partner to a better place in the near future, rather than digging relentlessly into the past. 

I’ve listed my favorite couples therapies below because sometimes couples tell me: “My friends had Gottman couples therapy, and it worked for them. Do you provide that style of therapy?” or “My minister suggested we find someone who does "Premarital Therapy. Is that a specialty of yours?”

Every couple’s situation is unique so I use of a wide range of research-based methods. But I’m most likely to rely a combination of these:

• Narrative Couples Therapy

• Couple Enrichment

• Premarital Counseling

If you want to chat about the best approach for you and your partner, send me an email. If I’m not well-versed in the approach you seek, I’ll help you find a therapist who is.